Back With a Vengeance – Haze Attack: A Conspiracy Theory to Disable Malaysia

For years, a deadly, insidious, nefarious, cowardly plot had been conceived — to choke the lives of hundreds of thousands of Malaysians!

And who is behind this deadly, insidious, nefarious, cowardly plot, I hear you ask?

Why, its the eeeevvveeel but absolutely dull-headed villagers, farmers, unscrupulous secret agents of a particular neighbouring country that had really produced a weapon of mass destruction…a hazardous biological weapon known as THE HAZE!

By setting fire to their forests and conducting open fires as well as with a little assistance from Mother Nature’s wind patterns, the horrible weapon of mass choking and destruction was formed! Gazillion tiny particles of ash, dust and smoke gradually crosses the straits into our territory, not even our nation’s most powerful defense systems can stop its warpath. 

No one is safe from this thick smog – the tiny carbon particles breathed into our lungs and clogging it up, making it hard for us to breathe. As a result, those of us with asthma and breathing difficulties would be the first to fall.

Oh, how cruel those who are responsible for this inhumane attack!

The worst affected areas are turned into perpetual ghost towns, people forced to stay indoors – seeking refuge from the deadly smog. Businesses suffered losses. Health problems and breathing woes increases. Planes grounded to a halt because visibility was extremely poor. If these goes on, the economy will sure take a beating! Yes, this is their secret plan – to cripple our country with the haze so that they may prepare for a grand scale invasion!

It’s the KONFRONTASI all over again, people!

It’s not enough they’re sending their men and women over to our shores to snatch our jobs, steal our money and perpetrate crimes in our country, they’re out to get our health and air as well!

You may laugh and scoff now but think…just THINK…why do you think this hazardous haze problems continually occurs with ceasing? For many years, almost always around this same time of the year, hundreds of hotspots mysteriously appear in our neighbouring country’s forests – bringing with it to this land its smog of death. It can’t all be a coincidence now could it? That’s why I think there’s a major plot, a shadowy consipracy aimed at bringing about the demise of our country!

We have suffered enough people! We know your secret plot! You can’t bring this country down with your ingenious attack! We’re on to you! We Malaysians shall defend our beloved air to the death or we shall not be called “Anak Malaysia!”

We need someone to crank out mobile, refillable oxygen tanks and protective goggles so that we may still be able to go about our daily lives, and thus, rendering their haze attack useless. Our boys in green can take up to the skies and start seeding the clouds to force ’em to release blessed showers of from heaven to wash away the enemy’s pollutants. Heck, we can all set up huge fans on rooftops of high rise buildings with the fans pointed in the direction of the enemy. Let the enemy taste their own medicine! Let them choke, cough and wheeze on their own weapon of mass choking and coughing!  

Victory is in our hands! BWAHAHAHA! Long live Malaysia! NEGARAKU, TANAH TUMPAH DARAHKU!


You see what this darn haze can do to a fragile mind with a knack for wild fantasies, hallaucinations and imaginations…


  1. journeyofadreamer

    1st Response: …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

    2nd Response: Yes, comrade, we shall join hands and retaliate! Forget smogging their air! Let’s smog their brains by bringing in the horrors we call local television from the 80’s and 90’s and play tacky Akademi Fantasia numbers until they scream for mercy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

    *No offense to anybody involved in the current local production scene. Things have improved. Let’s hope this curve continues. :P*

  2. a

    fcuk the endoz, one more haze, we will nuke em!

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