You know, the usual stuff.
Ever had one of those days where you just feel like you're a completely incompetent fool who tries hard to feel that everything seems to be going your way when it's actually not?
Thought so…seems like I'm the only one who ever gets this kind of shit every other day. Don't mind me, I'm having one of those crappy, moody moods that I usually go to when I just feel rotten about a day I'm having.
Hate having this you know…can't believe myself the drastic change in my mood levels…yesterday I was all so excited and cool about getting to the official premiere of Mission Impossible III TGV KLCC and then *BAM!* everything seems to go downhill the next day…
When I earned someone's trust, I go to great, great lengths of ensuring that I honour and protect that trust and repay in kind – so regardless of everything you do, I would usually take it all in my stride and am extremely patient with you – in contrast to my normal, usual outburst of impatience and hot temperament.
But then, even if you trust me and I trust you, it still has a limit you know? I can only go so much and so far without feeling like someone's been playing me for a puppet! And I hate being played! But I'm just to nice to say it to anyone's face and so, it's usually I'm the one who suffers in silence.
I'm crossing my fingers and praying strongly and hopefully that the sun rises out of its slumber and shine some rays of life and light back into the darkness of my soul. I'm wounded, and it really is the worst kind of treatment I've ever got. But I don't blame anyone but myself for this.
Well, in two days I'll be flying to Bangkok for the MTV Asia Awards show. If everything goes smoothly as planned, it'll be my first overseas press junket/journalistic assignment. And I'm going on my own…
So, you'll understand how it feels having butterflies in my stomach and with me going through another one of my trademark dark, depressing moods, the nervousness, anxiety and sense of overwhelming panic multiplies a thousand fold.
So you have a general idea of what I'm going through. And why I needed to get this off my chest…
Blogging seems to be the best way at the moment, so there!
Disclaimer: I don't mean any hostility in this post. And I'm not venting at anyone in particular…it's just FATE that I got issues to deal with.