My Official First WordPress Post!

Hello all!!!

Welcome to my new look and revamped blogspace!

Word Press is cool to me and helps me manage my posts more efficiently and neatly without the cluttered look of some blogs. A lot of good things too that my previous blogspace didn’t have, such as password-protection of certain particularly sensitive posts that I might not want the whole world to know and also the ability to start separate pages of posts. Its like a multi blog in one!

Well, lets get down to business shall we?

It’s been almost a month since my dad was struck down by stroke and 2 weeks since his passing. The whole month of January was indeed a tough and very difficult time for all of us in the family. Not exactly the way I had hoped to start off the new year as well as the Chinese New Year.

Now its the 2nd month of the year and the time has come for us all to pick up the pieces and try and move on with our lives. No point in dwellingin the past as people all have to die one day. It was surprisingly easy to cope for us, I guess we were quite prepared for my dad’s eventual passing that it was not so hard to accept. Indeed, I no longer felt any grief or pain over the loss of my dad but nevertheless, we all do miss him. He’s at a better place now, that’s all that matters.

I must say that my father is a really different father than most. He’s the most meticulous, cautious and prepared person you’ll ever know. It’s because of this nature in him to perfect everything and to make sure everything is done accordingly – that made him such a strict disciplinarian and can sometimes come off quite ruthless to us. Despite all the bad tempers and all the arguments and shouts and duels I had with my father, it was only in the time of his passing that I really began to appreciate what he has done for me and for the family. I am certainly thankful that he managed to see me and I made my peace with him before he breathed his last.

So what made me begin to appreciate everything he’s done for me? For starters, by virtue of being the only son, I’m afraid I will now have to be THE man of the family and have to shoulder huge responsibilities (shiver me timbers!! Can you feel me quaking now?) from now on. Family and members of the church seems to expect me to live up to the expectations of my father and be the man that he was.

Thats the problem.

I am not my Dad. Period. Nor can I ever be.

The meticulousness part has been passed down quite much and I did inherit a bit of his temper, but basically I can only try to emulate what he’s done and what he was but I can never, ever be like my dad.

Which brings me to what happened today. 😦
All paper documents – forms, bills, cheques, etc. – will now have to be filled and processed and done by me. I have learnt a bit and I do know how to read instructions but I am still pretty green in all these areas. Especially when it comes to banking matters, the most important of all the tasks I had to shoulder because it involves money. So you can imagine my nervousness when I have to fill in forms applying for bankers cheque, renewing fixed deposits and writing cheques.

The previous night, I had already filled in all the details to apply for three separate bankers cheque. Mom was pretty happy that I did everything as neatly as possible and that I didn’t make any mistakes that I would usually make (she doesn’t understand that I make mistakes only when I am under intense pressure and scrutiny from people. I just don’t like people watching over my shoulder or watching me write!). Everything’s going well, tomorrow won’t pose such a problem then – I thought to myself.

How wrong!

It all began when we received the bankers cheque. Three of them as I’ve mentioned. One to my mom’s other account. One to my account. And one to be handed personally to my sister. It’s the first two that became problematic. We applied the bankers cheque from a different bank and I am to bank it at another bank. I had obtained the cheque envelope and filled in the details correctly and clearly on the envelopes. I walked to the bank and proceeded to drop them in the cheque deposit machine. Got the two confirmation slips in return. Everything seems to be a breeze.

After our banking duties and other errands were done, mom and I went our separate ways – she went back home, I went to Times Square to watch a movie. Upon returning, my mother greeted me with a sour and worried expression. It’s not good… what did I do this time? – I thought to myself.

Mom went into rant mode the moment I stepped through the door and starts blaming me for not being extra careful in checking that we did everything properly. The problem? We have neglected to write our names, account number and contact number on the back of the bankers cheque – something that is a must when depositing cheques into the machines. Though all the information is in the front of the envelope, it was safer the details written on the back as well. It was elementary and in our (or rather my) haste/rush to complete the task…I forgot all about writing the details at the back of the two cheques. And now mom’s agonisingly worried and I am agonisingly and painfully sorry to have let here down. And the fact that she’s comparing me and my late dad is making it hurt all the more.

I’ve done my best but I still let here down in the end. Is there any hope for me? I feel really bad. The only thing I can do to make it right is to go back to the bank again first thing in the morning and ask whether there’s any chance I can reclaim the cheques in the envelopes and write the details down. I so hope that I could, otherwise… it’ll be three to four days of agonising wait to check whether the money has safely gone into our respective accounts.

I’m praying so very hard that we can reclaim it back. Let’s see what tomorrow brings and hope it’ll be good news. *Sigh!* *Sigh!* *Sigh!*


  1. Samster

    Hey, buddy, cool it. You are not your dad and will never be. You will be your own man and will be like wine, better and wiser with age. Just keep trying.

    Sadly, the path to true right meticulousness comes through experience and though I pray you may avoid many a mistake, I fear that there are quite a few on the way. Don’t worry about letting ma down now. It happens so you won’t let her down in future and also know that these are minor things and that in the end, there is nothing you cannot do to truly disappoint the Father of Fathers for He knows you too well.

    Gambatte ne, ototo Philip-san. 🙂

  2. *Huggles*

    Onii-san, don’t worry. We all make mistakes. You are only human, Nii-san.

    Btw, am on Msn if you have it. cara_camillie AT hotmail DOT com

  3. Samster & Naoko – Arigato to the both of you!! Thanks so much for the encouragement and support once more. I certainly hope to learn more and improve my confidence. *Hugs* to you both! 😀

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