First up, just wanna wish all my blog readers who are celebrating the Lunar New Year a wonderful Year of the Metal Rabbit ahead. May this year be a great blessing for you and your loved ones and that all that you are endeavouring for this year be successful!
The first day of CNY had passed in a flash and so’s the first month of the year. The rapidity of time passing by really bothers me quite a lot of times and often made me ponder a lot. And when I slip into my often quiet, lonely and ponderous moods, everything feels depressing…and frustrating.
Like what I’m feeling now.
I’ve been advised a lot of times that it does one good to take time off and take a good hard look at oneself and reflect on one’s life thus far – how one has lived life so far, what great (or small) achievements one had succeeded in gaining, was it all worth it, was it all a waste and what’s gonna happen next in life? These questions and more were what I have been facing up to for the past couple of days, simmering in my mind and constantly the source of weird dreams I’ve been having of conversing and arguing with myself in front of a mirror.
All these boils down to just one question that I still find it difficult to answer. Well, not difficult but it’s just that I probably don’t know how to answer it, or maybe afraid to answer it. Because I know I’ll be immensely disappointed if I answer it honestly. That I can’t face up to the reality of it.
Come November 29 this year, I’ll be exactly 29. And a full year after that I’ll be hitting the BIG 3-0, which I am very afraid of. Heh, guess you can say that I’m having a pre-Thirties crisis or a pre-Thirties blues. Since graduating at the end of 2003 and starting my first real job in Feb 2004, it has been a long bumpy ride with a lot of potholes and roadblocks interfering in this journey of life that I am in. There were high points and there were low points and then, there were those seriously low points when I really thought of giving up altogether and whether life is worth living for when it’s this hard.
But I survived.
Thank God I survived. And it is God indeed that gave me strength to pull through. And it was friends that I love, that I cherish, that had stood by me till today that made it easier to get up, shake off the dust and soldier on again. Not to mention the promises that God has for me revealed through people who had prayed for me. It’s amazing how just by believing in those promises and believing in the good future that is yet to come that has slowly restored my spirits and made me think that “The future is what made my life worth living for, certainly worth going through. That all the pain of loss, the heartache, the humiliation and the failures I had endured were worth enduring.” So what if I am not perfect? I refuse to believe and accept all the lies and hurtful words people had said about me. I will be somebody. I will be influential. I will be used mightily by God in many ways through the ministries that He has planned and kept ready for me to take up when the time comes.
So, I’m believing that this year, the remainder 11 months, is another year of promise, another year of great expectations. I’m going to put all of my fears, worries, insecurities and anxieties behind me and look ahead with steely determination to make this year a great year for me in every area of my life – from my relationships with people, to my career and to my spiritual life. I’m not going to let anyone stand in my way of trying to achieve my dreams and my ambitions. My God is on my side, I shall have no fear because He is bigger than anything that tries to hinder the path that I am on.
Yes, this year’s will certainly be promising. Lots of things lined up…my first major decision of the year is to enrol for the School of Acts and pray that I will get accepted into it. It is a six-months intensive course on pastoral ministry, church leadership, evangelism, servanthood, spiritual gifts and discipleship. Apart from this, I’m making plans to travel a bit more often, to not be afraid of stepping out of my comfortable, sheltered life. Next is that I need to get started on that book of testimonies that I have been putting off for a few years now and to write more Holy Spirit-inspired lyrics that will move the hearts of the people to reach out to Jesus. Also, I need to start researching on which good Master of Arts programme that I should undertake next year to kickstart my career path as an academic and lecturer. And finally, one of my biggest dreams is to establish my own media empire, and so, I have to start learning how to go about making it a reality now by understanding the process of starting a company, the laws regulating the media, the capital I need and a viable product that is sustainable and long-lasting.
It all looks challenging alright, but I got faith to succeed. I got supernatural faith from above that will keep me going. I’ll end hear with the earnest, heartfelt prayer of Jabex that moved the heart of God so much that He granted him what he had requested. And what did Jabez prayed for? This, which is taken from 1 Chronicles 4:10:
And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.
I resolve to pray and declare this every morning I wake up from today onwards.
So, it’s another brand new year, another year of challenges. But I’m firmly believing that it is also a promising year for God’s plan to be unveiled in my life. That it is going to be year of blessing and year when I see God’s hand at work in every area of my life!
I pray that it will be the same for all of you too!
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.
About 3 million people visit the Taj Mahal every year. This blog was viewed about 59,000 times in 2010. If it were the Taj Mahal, it would take about 7 days for that many people to see it.
In 2010, there were 3 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 380 posts. There was 1 picture uploaded, taking a total of 19kb.
The busiest day of the year was March 11th with 257 views. The most popular post that day was Child Actors – What have we done to these kids?.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were search.conduit.com, facebook.com, google.com, search.aol.com, and voresborn.dk.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for curry, curry chicken, haley joel osment, list of goals, and child actors.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
Child Actors – What have we done to these kids? April 2006
My First (Interesting) Attempt at Cooking Curry Chicken! June 2006
A List of 100 Goals to Achieve Before I Die June 2006
Animax on ASTRO 715 – God Sent! September 2006
Oh, gosh! Haley Joel Osment hurt in car crash!! July 2006
Today’s a public holiday, but I was up since 7am.
It’s a special day for my dear brother Jeremy L. Fidelis, who had taken the important step of dedicating his life to the Lord Jesus Christ by deciding to be water baptised today. One of the most wonderful occassions to me, next to a wedding, is a water baptism ceremony. I’m always filled with that sense of holy awe when someone is immersed in water, re-emerging as a spiritually cleansed person – a public declaration and testimony of the person’s devotion to Christ.
You’ve made an awesome decision, Bro. Jeremy! Praise the LORD!
Then, after the water baptism ceremony, which was held at my Tamil pastor’s apartment, I went home to take a good rest and to prepare for 2-movie outing at Sunway Pyramid with two of my church youths – Alex and Joshua, who are both cousins. This would be my first ever outing together with them in the four years since they joined my church so it was pretty awesome. Wanted to watch the new Narnia movie, but alas, the time I wanted was completely sold out. So, we ended up watching a pretty cool (though the script could do with a little polishing) action movie called The Warrior’s Way.
After that movie, I took the boys out for a cool dinner at Italiannies, which happened to be Alex’s first time at Italiannies. And what a first time it was for him! He finished off a huge plate of seafood pasta in 20 mins! Then, it was off to another movie and since both boys seemed to enjoy horror movies, we went to watch the latest Singapore horror flick called Haunted Changi. The film was shot in the same style as The Blair Witch Project but this Asian version is much more cornier and a little comedic. But there were some terrifying parts near the end though.
All in all, I’m just glad that I managed to spend some quality time with the two boys. Alex’s had been wanting to go see a movie with me for ages and I just didn’t have the time but I am thankful that I did take the time to go see a movie with him and his cousin. The boys had fun and that’s all I care about. Hope I’ll be able to commit to more mini outings such as these in the future. Not just with these two youths but with the others as well.
Well next major event to look forward to… the annual ZCF D’Gen Y & Dwelling Place Church Youth Camp from Dec 19 – 22! Can’t wait! Praying for a mighty move of God throughout the camp period!
Click on the image above to see my full results (Don’t know why the image just doesn’t seem to appear despite numerous tries).
I’d say it’s about 70 to 75% accurate about me. And this personality profiling tool seemed to be a bit more comprehensive too!
Hello, hello, to all you denizens of the World Wide Blogoverse! How’s y’all doing?? It’s been a while and wow wee, it looks like the comments to some of my old posts are still coming in thick and fast (though at least 75% are spam!). Sorry if I didn’t respond to each of your comments as I had left this blog in a coma pretty much for nearly the last 2 years.
I just felt its time for to resuscitate my poor blog and wake it from its long coma after my passion for writing became hot and furious in recent days. It’s like there’s something in me that’s struggling to burst forth right out like an Alien. Writers out there, I’m sure you know what I meant. So there, I’m back at writing ad you have no idea how much I’m relishing the feeling right now of putting these simple thoughts on screen here. What freedom! I don’t need to keep it all bottled in anymore and redicovering my dumping ground fills me with such euphoria that I don’t care if I’m no longer coherent. I just want to write, and write… and write some more!
And so I am. Get ready, Blogoverse! The good old Eternal Wanderer is back on the prowl and he’s so ever hungry and thirsty for something to write about!
Wow, looks like I’ve fallen off the blogosphere grid for almost five months already! So much had happened since my last post on Obama’s Berlin speech… so sorry to you folks who’ve been wondering where I’m off to. I’m doing well, no health problems or such, just a little stressed out.
But I’ve been enjoying a long break from work. Tomorrow I’m going back to work and hopefully, I am able to get through the next two days without too much trouble. It’s been four-and-a-half-months since I joined a new company as a writer, and while I enjoyed the work and have been learning lots, I don’t really like the environment and some of my colleagues. But what to do? I find this company to be a great place where I can grow, although I don’t see myself staying with them more than three years, as I still have my heart set on studying overseas, travel and lecture. And write a few damn good books while I’m at it. I can still dream but I’ll go wherever my God wants me to go, I guess.
I would really like to update you guys more about what has happened to me in last several months but just don’t have the heart to look back to the past. All I can say is that I’m glad that this year is coming to an end in a couple more days. I’m sure like most of everyone around the world, 2008 has been a year to forget. Yet, I’m still thankful for all the good and bad experiences I had throughout the year that have help developed me further to become a better person.
With that said, do look forward to my hopes and wishes for the coming new year. I’m praying that 2009 will be a fruitful and successful year for me personally and that I will be able to meet and achieve some of my life’s goals. And I’m praying that 2009 will also be just as good a year for all of you, regardless of the doom and gloom surrounding the world today. Let’s be optimistic and work towards overcoming whatever trials and tribulations the new year would bring ok?
Cheers everyone and love you all!
I doubt very much that the Joe and Jane Public in Malaysia is paying much scant attention to the fascinating US presidential campaign that’s ongoing currently, what with our own local political situation currently in shambles hogging the frontpage headlines. Everyone is too busy worrying over our own country’s political future, which I must say is more dramatic and action-packed than I could ever have hoped for.
This is the year America votes, and hopefully they vote really wisely this time around. And having followed the entire campaign process quite closely, I’m feeling a little more confident of America’s future prospects. Americans, I believe, have been given one great last chance to bail their country out of the shithole they’ve dug for themselves as a result of voting Bushy back as president in 2004. If they flub it again this time around, I fear the US will be in a deeper mess than ever that will take years to pull them out of.
But while I’m still sceptical about Barack Obama’s chances at trouncing John McCain in the elections this coming November 2008, I’m nevertheless optimistic that Americans will wise up and stop taking crap from the Republicans who have damaged the USA’s image internally and externally. Of all the Democratic candidates so far, Barack Obama presents the best chance ever to win back the presidency from the Republicans. He’s young, he’s suave, he’s visionary, he’s intelligent, he’s outspoken and he’s the one with the least baggage. And from his speech in Berlin, I sincerely believe that he would restore US’s reputation in the eyes of the world and herald a fairly peaceful age than the one we had in the Bush years.
Yes, I’m particularly enamoured by his charisma, but I still have enough sense to wonder if he can truly carry out the reforms and the promises he had stated in his speech, which is now taking shape as his election manifesto. I have to take into account the rifts in the Democratic camp as well, as I’m getting the feeling that Hillary Clinton is still rather sore about losing to Obama and her supporters might not work as hard for Obama as they would for her. No party is perfect, but the Democratic camp is very much the lesser of the two evils and if they can stand united for once show the world and their fellow Americans their strength, resilience and unity, they may bury the Republicans come November 2008.
I was elated when Kevin Rudd became the new Prime Minister of Australia… imagine how ecstatic and joyful I would be then, if Barack Obama does win the US Presidency! The winds of change are slowly blowing over much of the world. With UK’s Gordon Brown in danger of being ousted as well, the years ahead are promising to be a fascinating one in terms of the international politics scene. Don’t get me started with Malaysia, though… that’s for another post.
Anyways, here’s Obama’s inspirational address in Berlin, entitled “A World that Stands as One”, before a cheering crowd of 200,000. You can read it below or watch the videos: –
It’s been almost more than a month now, sorry to keep my faithful readers out of the loop here. I must say, I’m beginning to feel my passion for blogging my thoughts slowly ebbing away from my being. I may need some time to get away from it all and just spend a couple of days in isolation blogging and writing. Not that I’ve not been doing any writing these days but it’s mostly writing out the usual press releases, reporting stuff and writing movie reviews. Hardly creative writing in a sense.
So what’s been keeping me away? Hectic work schedule, a church camp, no inspiration among other things…
But hopefully, with this post, I’m getting back to my blogging stride. Even if I’m not in top form yet… Heck, have I ever been in top form anyways? Here I am blogging rubbish while I’m supposed to be mulling over a couple of press releases to edit and post as news items on the KLWeekly site.
I still love my work, I just have to keep saying that. And I DO really love my work, writing is everything I ever wanna do. But I’m not getting anywhere at the moment. I’ve sort of shelved my novel-in-progress for lack of inpsiration and threw myself into my work. KLWeekly is doing good but it’s still a small company and there’ll always be that desire to work for a more established company but the boldness to make that step to change is not there. I’ve already got rejected twice two months ago, when I applied for two different jobs, one a copywriter at an established firm in Mid Valley and the other a sub-editor’s position at a publishing firm. Didn’t even make the shortlist, although I got a polite email from both stating why they can’t put me in consideration.
Oh well, I refuse to dwell on it any further, I just want to try and keep looking at the positive side of things. My chance, my opportunity will still be there but it’s playing a damn good hide ‘n’ seek game with me at the moment.
Here’s me hoping for a good rest of June and the remainder half of 2008. The year may be slowly turning out to be a bad one for China (God bless that country!), but I refuse to let this year be a bad one for me.